not now,

Y Friday, September 29, 2006

this has got to be one of the worst weeks i'm suffering from. shed too many tears. there is friends and exams. so what?

and for friends whom i told something to, please do not spread around. you all understand, don't you? please? i just dowan anyone else to know. you understand, don't you?

Monday 25`o9`o6
Monday was not as bad as the other days of the week. after school i went for counselling. x) i dunno. but i just wanted counselling. lawliie. each session is strictly confidential so i shan't say whats going on.

Tuesday 26`o9`o6
after being kept in the dark for so long a time, i finally knew what's going on. i cried. i had to find the truth out myself. i know its bothering you to think what the fuck i am saying but just bear with me. please? and that Terrance from Broadrick is a wadd? i dunno. no words to describe him. nearly tore me and Chee Hao apart but now Chee Hao and i okiie le. *clap clap* if Terrance were to do that, i won't let him off i swear. joke with him a lil' and he gets so pissed to this extend. say what? want to fight or sth? wadd da hell lahz.

Wedenesday 27`o9`o6
late for school cause i woke up and went back to sleep cause my eyes hurts from all that crying. schools as per normal. no cca. and i had counselling and my dad sent me home. Chee Hao and Benjamin thought he pai kia or sth until i told them he's my dad. lol! and my family came back in the night for dinner. yummy.

Thursday 28`o9`o6
i lied to grandma that i was in school studying but then i went out with Chee Hao. i came back like half an hour later. like 6.30? mum was fucking pissed. so i cooked up a story lahz. i asked Dionna to help me lahz incase i need her help. so i cried over the phone. then its like i know Dionna is trying to comfort me. i appreciate that. but no offence lahz, it made me feel a lil' worse. i'm sorry to say that. but ya. and the next day is like my angg morhh paper and i have not started on any revision yet. and i cired like since 7 to.. 11? my eyes burnt.

Friday 29`o9`o6
angg morhh paper today. recess time Chee Hao bought me the magazine i wanted and had been looking for for ages! arghh! thank you so much! i love you! *blush* then i went back to my parent's place cause i can't anything to do at my grandma's place other than to sleep or draw, but i have nothing to, study? out of question. and now Chee Hao is at Grandlink, a walking distance from my house with Benjamin.

so that is was has been happening so far. oh ya. Justin's mum called i think. some Joanne woman called. whatever. he wanted me to kiss him? bleahhx. my mouth will rot i swear. why? cause he said that that time when we went out and held hands, we were suppose to kiss but then i was shy mahz but he was prepared so that's why i'm suppose to "pay" back that kiss that i owe him. but like. we're just friends? how is it possible? like he asked me if i was in a relationship, so i said i just patched back with my ex for the 4th time. then its like. i dunno. he thoughts that i'm not in one. so noew to him, i'm just pretending that i am single and that i still like him. he belives. omg. idiot. and its like he's hair is so crap. daddy (a.k.a. Jun Lin) saw him at Grandlink yesterday and changed his mind. he thought that Justin is better than Chee Hao but after looking at him he said that's he's so fucking ugly. i can't agree better myself actually. x)

you know he's NA. i thought he's express. but he's in NA. he got like wadd? 166 for PSLE? eve nchee hao and benjamin got higher than him. and me. (: he got U for cheena that's why. but he wants to go to express? dream lahz dream. he can never stop dreaming. omg. and he self- proclaimingly said that he's a taekwando black belt. correction. you can only be one once you're 16 and above. and Kimberly from his schol, same cca (my pri. sch. fren) told her cousin, Lynn Choe from my school said that a skinny boy, green belt, pulle him by the leg and he fell and there was someone who hit justin on his head and he fell. black belt? hilarious. then when he said that he class he bullies others, i cut in and say that others bully him and he was like," how you know?!" obviously.

so my post for this week shall end here. i shan't touch on the confidential issue though some knew but my family said not to tell anyone else and i hope those friends who knew wouldn't say a thing. my eyes burns from crying. i'm getting even more sleepless nights. so pleaase don't say a thing out, please please please?

vulnerable;
Y
3:44 PM